Bad Week

I will be the first to admit that I have a handful of mental health issues. I don’t feel like listing them all out. Just know it was and still is a bad week for me mentally. With my recent insomnia, my highs and lows have been on rapid cycle. I mean like I usually have 3-4 real highs in a month (by this I mean just overall happy and hyper. Really hyper). The lows definitely outweigh the highs (by lows I mean sadness, depression, and anger). This week I’ve had probably 4-5 highs. That’s what I mean by rapid cycle. On top of insomnia, it’s just draining. Mentally.

I’ve really been struggling with a lot of things this week. I still am. It’s not easing up quite yet. I hope it breaks soon, because I’m not a fan of this game. I had a huge talk with JB about how I’m feeling. Just in life, in general, and about us. I shared some not-so-easy to share feelings. Which is always hard for me. I’m known for being cold and harsh when I talk about how I’m feeling as pertaining to people. I’m trying to work on it, but I felt like I got a little mean with him.

The other thing that’s got me frazzled is school. I went to GED orientation night and learned a few things. Like after 7 years of not using it, I forgot a lot of math related stuff. A LOT. But now that I know what I need to work on, I feel like maybe home studies would be best for me. It’s easier on everyone schedule-wise. I just have to hold myself accountable and to a schedule. I need to get serious about it. No more putting it off like I have been. So I think I’m going to create a schedule for studying, like an hour on each subject, with a break in the middle, then another hour for each subject. A somewhat school like schedule. Test myself along the way. I need to work on self-motivation.

Other than all that, it’s been a decent week I suppose. I’ve gotten better about the whole infertility thing. It used to be really bad. I’d get invited to a baby shower and just bawl my eyes out. This past week a friend of mine asked if I could make it to her shower, if I’d be willing to make the cake. I told her I couldn’t do anything too fancy, but I sent a picture of something that might be good for the event. She loved it. So it’s been decided. I’m also working on a blanket for her new little one, and a big sister gift for her toddler. I’m pretty excited to see the finished products. I’ll end up posting pictures and probably directions once I finish them. Be on the look out for that later this week or next.


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