A New Kind of Dictionary

So, I’m in the middle of making dinner when we decided to go to the library. No biggy. “Hey ma, 8 minutes on the clock, we’ll be back. Don’t forget to take it out of the oven.” Right. We get there, we get back. I grab food because apparently eating is important (who knew). I sit down and I grab the smallest book on my stack. David Levithan’s The Lover’s Dictionary. Its typed in much the way a dictionary is. Each page is a different entry. Each word is somehow linked to a memory of his relationship, one that the word fits perfectly in. Not even 24 pages in and I was already in love. I would type the whole book out if I could, but I’ll stick to my absolute favorites.

“Abyss, n. There are times when I doubt everything. When I regret everything you’ve taken from me, everything I’ve given you, and the waste of all the time I’ve spent on us.” – I just really like this one, because I know that feeling all to well myself. Not currently, no. Heavens no. But I definitely hit that point in my marriage. About a week in. When I first found out. Even though I stayed.

“Ardent, adj. It was after sex…. it was as if the whole world could be reduced to the sound of a single string being played, and the only thing this sound could make me think of was you. Sometimes desire is air; sometimes desire is liquid. And every now and then, when everything else is air and liquid, desire solidifies, and the body is the magnet that draws its weight.” – Which makes me laugh because on the very next page you see this…

“Arduous, adj. Sometimes during sex, I wish there was a button on the small of your back that I could press and cause you to be done with it already.” – 😀 I laughed so hard. On the previous page you have something so amazingly beautiful and then you turn the page and you have something so… not beautiful 😀

“Flux, n. The Natural state. Our moods change. Our lives change. Our feelings for each other change. Our bearings change. The song changes. The air changes. The temperature of the shower changes. Accept this. We must accept this.” – This is just a great reminder for all things in life. For me right now its highly relevant. Especially as I go through this transitional point I’m in currently. The one between divorce and finding yourself (even if we’ve been apart for over a year. Things take time. Self discovery doesn’t happen over night….)

“Gravity, n. I imagine you saved my life. And then I wonder if I’m just imagining it.” – I think we’ve all be there…

“Jaded, adj……. In the end, we both want the right thing to happen, the right person to win, the right idea to prevail. We have no faith that it will, but still we want it……” – I just like this little bit. The whole entry explains a bit more, but I feel like that is the most important bit in the whole thing. I’m not going to go into why, but I spent the better part of the last five years living completely jaded.

“Obstinate, adj. Sometimes it becomes a contest: Which is more stubborn, the love or the two arguing people caught within it?” – For me, I’ve been on the latter side of things. I’ve, personally, never experienced a stubborn love.

“Stanchion, n. I don’t want to be the strong one, but I don’t want to be the weak one either. Why does it feel like it’s always one or the other? When we embrace, one of us is always holding the other a little tighter.” – I think that’s just how love is. All the way around. One of you is always holding on a little tighter. Some days its me, others its you. Relationships need that. Its when one stops holding tighter altogether that it becomes a problem. There can’t be only one person holding tight all the time….

“Zenith, n…… This is it, the moment before you tell me the precise thing I don’t want to know. Is this the zenith? This last moment of ignorance? Or does it come much later?” – Yup. It usually comes much later. For me, at any rate. I go on pretending like nothing has changed until I can’t pretend anymore.


Tell me that didn’t just make you fall in love with this book. Seriously, don’t play. It is very particular to the writer, whether he wrote about himself or just some made up couple. Either way. Its particular to the relationship it was written about… but there are still entries that resonate well with others. Bits and pieces everyone can relate to, things we all need to hear or remind ourselves of. It is a very quick read. Maybe takes an hour or two if you have the time. Worth checking out. You never know what you’ll take away from it.


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