Sex Ed Didn’t Prepare Me For This

I think that once you reach high school, sex ed shouldn’t just be about STIs, sex, and pregnancy. I think it should also include the flip side: Infertility. I spent my whole life thinking that getting pregnant would be the easiest thing I would ever do in my life. Turns out, not so easy. Four years of knowing about my infertility, with a LONG road ahead of me. NOTHING prepared me for it. Literally, nothing. Because infertility is NEVER talked about.

My parents gave me the sex talk, they never gave me the “you may never have children” talk. My teachers gave the sex talk, they never gave the “you may have to spend thousands on fertility treatments” talk. My friends never talked about infertility. TV never talked about infertility. Infertility didn’t even enter my mind until I actively started trying to have a child. That’s when it all came to light. Four years ago. Four years of dealing with infertility that I was never prepared to deal with. No one ever told me that having a child might not be so easy. That some day I would make the choice to be a mother and that choice would be taken from me. That there is another side to having kids and it involves a shit ton of medicines and needles and poking and prodding.

Everyone always assumes that ALL women are able to 1. get pregnant and 2. carry the child to term. No one ever talks about what happens if they can’t do either. I know I’m not alone in this, there are several others who suffer, and we all feel shame. Men and women alike. Complete shame that our bodies can’t do the one thing that is expected of them. That we can’t function like “normal” people. Up until about a year ago I never would have been so public with my infertility. Not anymore. I don’t want to spend my life hiding how I feel, hiding what I’m thinking. Feeling like I’m completely worthless. I will not stop spreading awareness until infertility is talked about as much as pregnancy. And I don’t just mean among other infertility sufferers. I want it to be common knowledge. I want everyone to know that there are people out there suffering, that this is real. It could happen to you, it could happen to your sister, your brother, your aunt, your uncle, your son, your daughter… this is a real disease. It deserves respect and attention.

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One thought on “Sex Ed Didn’t Prepare Me For This

  1. I agree, it is a topic that is so hush hush. It is so painful to not be able to talk to someone openly about what is hurting you, just because it makes them uncomfortable. Saying “I may not have children”, is always followed by a “Oh! Don’t say that!!! Of course you will! It’s just not your time.” It is such a frustration. So I feel your pain – and feel the same way about infertility awareness.

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