Judgmental…

I’m not sure that’s the right word, but it’s the word I’m going to use. There’s something about infertility that makes me and many others, super judgmental. I’ve seen it all, I’ve thought it all. “Really, you live with your parents, you already have one kid you can’t afford, and now you’re having another one?!” “She has three kids by three different guys and now she’s having a fourth!”… Yea. It’s not even really being judgmental, even though it looks like it. It’s just frustration. Anger. Mostly pointed at our bodies. A touch of jealousy…. I admit it. If your reproductive system works as it should, I envy you. HIGHLY.

Just the other day I was watching Property Brothers (God I love them!) and many times you reach the end for the couple to, surprise, announce they’re pregnant. So I’m watching this episode the whole time going “please, don’t let them say they’re pregnant, please, don’t let them say they’re pregnant” to get to the end and hear “We’re just so happy we got the house and it’s done because… we just found out we’re expecting our first child!” LAHDOIFHEWPOAIFHOFIENAPOIUYDOIUHN GO SIT IN THE CORNER!!!!! To add insult to injury, I was on my lady time. Making me even more emotional than usual.

As I get older I feel like my clock is ticking way faster than everyone else’s. I mean I’m almost 24. That’s not old at all. But when your ability to conceive relies so heavily on your bank account (IVF alone is $12-24,000 a round)… that clock starts ticking faster. That’s not exactly small change and I don’t know any 24 year old who has $24,000, let alone $12,000 just laying around.

Anywho… end rant for today I suppose. I think I’m going to start a new series here soon on the infertility tab. We shall see. I’m still looking into a few things 🙂

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