I don’t want to sound like a bitch, I really hope it doesn’t come across that way. But I do want to be honest (Which is often mistaken for being a bitch) 😀 I’ve seen a lot of my mama friends post a picture that says “I could have sworn I had friends before I had kids.” I’m pretty sure a lot of people know the picture I’m talking about.
Let me just say this: You might feel that way, but honestly most of you (the ones I know anyway), did it to yourselves. Once you have children, it’s natural to want your child to be around other children. As a woman struggling with infertility, I have no children. Meaning your time with me has been cut down drastically. I will admit when you first got pregnant and had the baby shower and all that… I wasn’t around. Things like that are a bit hard for me to deal with. Because I’m faced with potentially never having any of that. When it was time to see the new baby, that was my fault again. I can tell you 10 times out of 10, I will not go and see a newborn. Again this is just something that’s hard for me to deal with. It’s not fun for me to sit around a maternity ward surrounded by newborns and new mothers. Yes, I did it once. Only because the newborn was my half sister. I sucked it up for her sake. She’s family. Not to say I don’t love my friends to death… just that’s something I don’t feel like I ABSOLUTELY need to be there for. Chances are I’m not going to be super involved in your child’s life.
Birthday parties, also my fault. Usually it’s a huge gathering of children. I’m childless. It’s not fun hanging out with a group of mothers, or soon to be mommies all talking about babies and kids. I have nothing to add to these conversations. Usual every day hang outs… that’s where it’s your fault. You have a child, suddenly your childless friends get tossed aside to make way for other mommies. This is a group I’m not in. I probably won’t be in for a long time. You want to talk for countless hours about a funny poop story, or how baby wouldn’t sleep, or baby won’t latch on, or doctors appointments, or baby did this and that, and so many other things. I don’t have a child for your child to play with, I’m shunned. You’ve started a new club, the mommy club. That’s a club I can’t get into. You kinda need to have a kiddo to be in the exclusive mommy club.
Point being, once you have a kid, you enter this club. Those of us without kiddos… we’re kinda left standing in the cold. It’s natural to want your child to be around other children… but mamas, please don’t forget about your childless friends. It’s not our fault we don’t have kids. And stop with the “I could have sworn I had friends before I had kids” bit. You’re the ones who stopped including us in get togethers. We’re still your friends. We just feel a bit forgotten.