Namaste, Bitches

Y’all, I may or may not be slowly losing my damn mind. Like biting my tongue so much I’m shocked I still have a fucking tongue. Lets back up just a touch. Okay so I’ve been sick. Nothing major just a minor head cold I picked up from a younger sibling. We’re all doing much better now, I’ll have to check in on her mom though. She wasn’t doing so well a few days ago. Hopefully she’s feeling better by now!

My fiance taught me how to fish with a big girl rod 😀 I should explain. I was a child, maybe about 8 the last time I went fishing. Back in the day with the super sweet Scooby poles. You remember, you push a button and fling. The line comes out. Easy peasy. I’d never used an adult pole in my adult life. We want to be more active and fishing is included. I had a few really stupid questions such as “umm there’s no button on here….how do I make it go?” Which actually turns out to be much easier than I thought! So I’ve graduated to an adult rod! We’ve gone out these last 2 or 3 weekends, I think. We haven’t caught any fish yet. He did get to touch a duck though. This one spot we go to is frequented by these 2 geese and a duck. I’m not sure why this duck swims with the geese, they’re assholes to him. Anyways. They seem to be used to being around people. They’re kinda chill like that. Kinda, because they’re still assholes to this duck. So yea. He got to touch a duck. Then I promptly made him sanitize his hands 😀 Yea I carry that shit with me. Everywhere. You never know when you’ll need it.

I’ve jumped on this weight gain journey. I’m about 5 foot 9. I weigh 115 on a good day. I’ve asked my doctor about 10 thousand times if there’s something wrong with me, I can’t gain weight. They’ve assured me 10 thousand times that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me, I am 100% healthy. All my levels are where they need to be, everything checks out. Either way I would like to weigh a more normal weight. I’ve added Ensure to my lifestyle changes. One of many on this quest. I’m not using it as a meal replacement, but as a supplement. Sometimes it’s easier to get extra calories by drinking them rather than eating them. So we’ll see how that goes. If I’m brave enough I’ll post before and during pictures. It’s going to take time but I’m going to make it happen! My minimum goal is to add 20 pounds. Ideally I’d like to add 30. At this point any weight gain is a major plus.

Father’s day happened just yesterday. That’s a day I don’t want to touch up on. Like the huge long overly mushy I love my family type post. It would just take too long because I have way too many dads in my life that I’d want to acknowledge. I will say that my father absolutely hates a certain thing that sounds like schedible schrrangments. Every time he sees the commercial for these he says how fucking stupid they are and how he never fucking wants one. His words. So for the last 6 years I’ve always joked that I’m getting him one. Yesterday was finally the day. We made it 2 hours before they closed. When we got home he was taking a nap so we put it in the fridge and left him a note “Happy Father’s Day! Here’s that stupid fucking schedible schrrangment you never wanted -R&K” 😀 He loved it. And yes he’s actually eating it. I know, I’m impressed as well.

Umm… I’m not sure anything else has happened. OOOOH! Yes. Yes it did! OH MY GOSH! Y’all… y’alllllll…. Alright, listen to this. This is the most fucked up thing. I swear. It’s no secret I have OCD. I’m very picky about my hands and touching certain things, the way things feel on my hands. GERMS! Okay. I’m cleaning the house. It’s a decent Oregon day. Meaning cold, grey, gloomy. Beautiful. Now with a toddler in the house its not uncommon to find all kinds of food on the floor after she leaves. Usually I just pick up the big stuff and put it in my pocket while I’m vacuuming. So it’s light enough outside I didn’t really need the lights on. I bend down to pick up what I think is a piece of cookie. Y’all. I wish I was joking. I really do. The second I touched this “cookie” I knew damn well it wasn’t a cookie! I went from totally cool to losing my damn mind in .2 seconds. I didn’t even know what it was at this point. I instantly dropped it. Terrified to actually look at it. I just kept telling my other sister “that wasn’t a cookie! That. Wasn’t. A. Cookie!” She’s looking at me like I’m a straight up loon. I gather myself and bend down to look. IT. WAS. A. FUCKING. DEAD. MOTH! I picked up a dead fucking moth with my hands! I could have cried. I had to wash my hands 3 times. Under nails, up to elbows, hottest water I could stand. Lesson learned.

As soon as I can figure out how to word the things I want to say, I’ll explain the whole namaste thing. There’s just so much to that. I don’t even know where to start. I just need to step back. Take a breathe. Just be cool. Mellow out. Okay, so until next time!

-XOXO

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