What happened was…

So I’ve said several times I would try to be more consistent with this blog again, then I went missing for a bit. Now I’m back with some pretty big news. Anyone who has followed this blog knows I’m no stranger to infertility. I managed to get pregnant in 2015 and suffered an early loss. Well… after 86 months of trying, that’s 7 years 2 months for anyone wondering… WE’RE PREGNANT! Yes WE. Even though I’m the one carrying the child, he’s still just as responsible for this child, and he played a part in creating this life. So WE are pregnant. I’ll be 8 weeks tomorrow and have my first OB appointment 🙂 We’re a bunch of nervous balls of excitement. Assuming traffic won’t be horrendous. We live in Oregon and it’s expected there will be an extra million people in the state. Traffic in areas has already been insane. On top of wildfires. It’s all out madness.

Details, details. Yea. I’m getting there. So I honestly didn’t think anything was up. The day before my period was due we went and bought pads. I even put one on thinking my period was coming. That day I got into an argument with a family member that ended with a teenager style meltdown. I mean slamming doors and crying. Not a proud moment. I’m not a crier. Legit. I’ve known my fiance for 13 years and he’s only seen me cry maybe 2 or 3 times for totally reasonable reasons. Like when we lost our first pregnancy. I thought maybe it’s just a really bad bout of PMS?

July 24th, the day before my Fiance’s birthday. D day. I wake up as usual. Cramping a bit. Nothing like usual. Getting ready to put a new pad on for the day. My handy dandy stock of pregnancy tests (because I always test the day AF is due. Habit from the last 7 years) grab one, because again, habit. Get to the bathroom. Open it up, prepare myself. Thinking nothing of it. Pee, set it down, rub the sleep from my eyes. Glance over. The urine is moving slowly across the window. Popped positive before the urine even hit the control line. I rub my eyes again thinking I’m just not awake yet and seeing things. Stand up and flush. Grav the test for a proper look. Two lines. Not even a faint line, much darker than my first pregnancy. What. The. Fuck! Is this real life? Am I dreaming?

I go running into our room, jumped on our bed. Shook my fiance awake. Shoved the test in his face. By this time I’m bawling. Like hideous bawling. He’s not awake, has no idea what the hell I just shoved at him. I’m like “do you see it? Is it there!?!” He says “oh yea! That’s a dark line!” Sobbing, straight sobbing, pretty sure I told him I couldn’t breathe. I can’t believe this is happening. I manage a weak ass “happy early birthday!” Safe to say he was wide awake after that 😀 We got official doctors confirmation on his birthday.

So here we are now. 8 weeks tomorrow with our first appointment. So far it’s been a lot of growing pains, my boobs feel like they’ll hurt for the rest of my life, I pee loads, I’m super emotional. Legit everything makes me cry. I’m constantly nauseous but always starving. I have yet to throw up yet. Sometimes I think I’d feel better if I did 😀 Constipation, bloating, and gas…totally real issues. I base a good day off of whether or not I pooped that day 😀 People I haven’t spoken to in ages are suddenly very interested in how I’m doing. Pretty much everything revolves around how are you, how’s the baby?

Well I’m doing alright. Slightly terrified. Mostly excited. Baby, I assume, is just in there doing its own little thing. Growing like crazy. You know. I haven’t seen or heard it yet so I just assume all is well. I pretty much feel like poo all the time, so that’s a good thing 😀

I’ll probably totally change the direction of this blog to document my pregnancy, birth, and parenting stories. I’m sure we’re in for a hell of a ride ❤ Some of my test’s so far. I’ve actually been taking one a week now until my appointment just to ease my mind. Plus I love seeing it come up positive. It’s been a lot of years in the making. Don’t judge me! 55448

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